Fuck my life (FML)

[Cath]

Hello! 
Cath's here for a funny thread where you can relate or tell us a funny story or an embarrassing one.

Let me start and by the same occasion give you an example:

So, I was watching some porn in my room, you know, something vanilla for me. So, I was kind of half naked to enjoy myself when my little sister busted in my room! She's three years younger than me and she's kind of the teller. I was really panicked and in reflex I stood up revealing my wet spot. I was caught red handed and damn is my sister a prick!

[Cloudmatic]

Haha! Well that got pretty awkward I guess. Think I'm lucky that I always had my room on the top floor. Always paying attention when I hear footsteps. Don't want any accidents to happen... Especially when it's... ermmm... close towards the climax! Managed to pull of some narrow escapes myself... LOL.

Funny or embarrassing one huh... Well I don't know where to start! Don't want to leave a negative impression, so I'll start with one which has a little bit of both. It's not x-rated though.

I remember while I just started to work-out actively there was a certain shoulder exercise I would do. It's basically standing upside down and trying to stay balanced. At the beginning I needed help with that. I'd have my cousin to assist me by holding my legs into the air. It made him get into an uncomfortable position though, since his face was pretty much looking towards my bum.

The supplements I take before my training are all filled with sweeteners. The label says using them can have a laxative effect at times (like sugar free gum or diet soda). Guess going upside down did something bad to my stomach... I pretty much farted on his face by accident after ten seconds. To be fair, it was a pretty loud one too. He instantly moved back which caused me to fall with my back onto the floor. I was crying from laughter and apologized like a hundred of times. He knew it was an accident, luckily he could laugh about it as well later on. It was really uncomfortable, since it was in the gym as well.

[-J-]

It was 10 years ago. I was getting a late start on living alone, and around the holidays. There was a date I was planning on bringing to my family's Christmas party, and she and I spent some time having our own little "celebration". I knew someone was planning to come by to give us a ride over, but I wasn't expecting them for another hour.

Sure enough, the friend knocks at my window while in mid-afterglow with the date. I give him a quick call and tell him I need a little more time to get myself ready to go before leaving. My date and I were both embarrassed, but if my friend saw anything, he never let on that he did.

He hasn't knocked on the window since.

[Mirrage]

I have a story:

There was this cute guy, a few years ago, who always bragged about how good he is in bed.
So long story short: things got interesting and we started to move things to the bedroom.

I started kissing him on his chest and slowly kissed and licked my way down, when i suddenly felt something warm under
my chin....
It took me a second to realize that he blew his load before i even touched his dick ^^
So I started giggling with his cum dropping from my chin and watching him turn red.

He was so ashamed he left and went home, although I assured him that it can happen to anybody.

[Cath]

(09-25-2016, 09:34 PM)Mirrage Wrote: I have a story:

There was this cute guy, a few years ago, who always bragged about how good he is in bed.
So long story short: things got interesting and we started to move things to the bedroom.

I started kissing him on his chest and slowly kissed and licked my way down, when i suddenly felt something warm under
my chin....
It took me a second to realize that he blew his load before i even touched his dick ^^
So I started giggling with his cum dropping from my chin and watching him turn red.

He was so ashamed he left and went home, although I assured him that it can happen to anybody.

So he came to your house? Lol

[Mirrage]

(09-25-2016, 09:49 PM)Cath Wrote: So he came to your house? Lol

Literally

[Cath]

Jizz! I didn't know it would blow you out~ *leaves*

[RP_RICK]

Well simple one..

Many years ago, just finished having sex with my GF, we were on top the bed (not under any sheets), naked, cuddling, and my mother bursts in!

The awkwardness of the next moments are impossible to describe.

[Sasso]

My Mum once walked in on me cumming and offered me a biscuit. I was fully clothed but I had to hunch over to try hide anything and take a biscuit mid orgasm. It was never mentioned but god I hope she didn't realise

[Emmie]

When I lived at home my mom walked in on me masturbating in the shower once. It felt super awkward. "It's completely natural what you're doing. But maybe you wanna lock the door next time or give me a warning." and before she closed the door. "You may continue, I won't disturb you again!"

Which is just an example of how chill my mom was about sex in general. We also had a talk where she told me that it's completely fine if I'm lesbian, cause she will love me no matter what. This was when I was like 14 and I kept breaking up with everyone. And I spent almost all my time with a friend of mine who was obviously a girl. At the time it was awkward, but now when I look back at things, I'm so happy my mom said things like that to me.