04-01-2016, 05:19 AM
Detective Reid Bailley: (after a week without work you might have thought I'd be downgrading to cheap whiskey. Blackmail, Larceny, murder, the usual cases were all under my belt. But nothing, nothing could prepare me for this case....)
RB: Come in.
Anna Teal: Hi Mr. Bailley. Name your price. I need info on this and i need it fast.
RB: hold your horses maam, there's only a few cases i won't take. What's the bug under your rug?
AT: It's this guy I'm dating. You may have heard of him...he's....well
RB: yes, who is he? (she was more nervous than most of my clients)
AT: Clark Zimmerbirg, the CEO of Farcebook
RB: I see. He unfriended me last year, but I'm not surprised. (heh heh i wondered if i should tell my client about the saucy things i had put on that site to reverse blackmail clients. I decided not to, for now) What do you want me to research miss?
AT: Your aren't intimidated by his riches? you don't think he'll higher some thugs to come after you?
RB: He's a philanthropist right? nah he wouldn't hurt a fly...
AT: ON THE CONTRARY MR> DICK BAILLEY (she steadied herself) I mean, can i call you Reid? He WANTS ME TO DO BDSM! WITH HIM!!!
RB: Just because he's rich and powerful doesn't mean you have to address his every whim and fancy. But just to be sure of this Anna, are you 100% sure it's BDSM? what clue words got you thinking this...
AT: well, to be honest, it's not what he's said, it's what he's pointed to
RB: His dick size?
AT: no, if only that were the case. After sex, he tells me that if i'm a good girl, I'll get to see his "special room"
RB: Hmmm, well i understand the concern. Some movie a friend was telling me about had a similar event.
AT: so MR. Bailley, can you hack into the room?
RB: Well Ms. Teal, it's gonna cost you. $20,00 greenbacks
AT: Deal
RB: (i was a bit off put because i could tell she would have paid me more had i asked for it. But asking alot also means getting alot. What could be the secret Clark Zimmerberg was hiding? 20K was enough to get it)
RB: Alright Ms. Teal, but I'll need your cooperation. Being a silicon valley type, he'll likely have some sort of keycard, likely by his desk drawer. (i handed her a machine i happened to have from a rival of Mr. Zimmerberg who worked at MySpecies.) You don't have to bring me the physical keycard, just scan Mr. Zimmerberg's card with this machine, just like you would a credit card. Put that scanned copy in your purse and bring it to me. that is, unless you want to go into the room...........alone..........
AT: MR BAILLEY! i'll do it but never! never suggest that i have to go into that room! What would my mother think if i was into BDSM?
RB: What would she think.......indeed (kinky thoughts ran through my head until a taxi cab honked outside my door). Anyways, bring me the key.
AT: how will you get into his mansion?
RB: Mr. Zimmerberg has enemies, that have owed me a favor. Let's just say i have...connections.
AT: You mean other people know of his love for BDSM and want to blackmail him for it.
RB: (i tried to suppress a laugh, and managed to just in time. Boy was this dame naieve). Something like that. you get me the card, and i'll finish the rest.
I smoked some tar and went about my work. Why was it that i suspected something far too easy was within my reach?
(the next day)...
AT: I got the card. It happened to be pretty easy to get
RB: (i interrupted her before i forgot my plan) great job dollface. Now, assuming you sleep with him at night.
AT: (she in turn interrupted me) yes i do, but that's the worst. All we do is fuck in missionairy. EVERY FUCKING NIGHT
RB: well miss, if you don't mind me asking, why are you so afraid of kinky sex? don't you think it would be "spicier" than missionary?
AT: well you do make a point Mr. Bailley
RB: Nevermind, just hang in there one more night. From "other sources" I happened to obtain the floorplans and keycards to his mansion. That, and with the one you just gave me, will get me into the "secret room", without leaving a single fingerprint. Do your "missionary work" one more night sweet cheeks and the secret of that room, in full photos, will be revealed. What you do with that information is up to you....
AT: Got it Mr. Dick
(that night)
( I heard Anna and Mr. Zimmerberg going at it pretty hard. Either she had lied to me about not enjoying missionary or she was feeling quite a bit relieved to know the contents of the room the next day. Though the sex was hot and loud, I had a job to do.
I slowly opened the door, ecstatic that both Anna Teal and my curiosity could finally be quenched. I turned on the flashlight and jumped back! I bit my tongue so as to not let out a shout. Why in the world did my flashlight shine on the shiniest pair of Super Sonico eyes i'd ever seen? The lifeless and yet all too-lifelike resemblance to the popular anime figure confirmed my deepest most disturbing belief: IT was true. Mr. Zimmerberg was easily the sickest fucker I had ever seen. in all my years! I left immediately and tried to prepare to tell Anna Teal about the contents of the room.)
(the next day, in Reid Bailley's office)
AT: So did everything go as planned?
RB: sure did miss. I won't spoil it for you by saying: I think you're not going to like what i saw.
AT: OH Mr. Bailley? What was it ? BDSM? severed heads? pieces of flesh? used chewing gum?
RB: If only that were true Mr. Teal. It's much, much much worse.
AT: What could it be.
(I paused, and couldn't believe the words were coming out of my mouth)
RB: Ms. Teal, (i stuttered, but had to finish the job) Mr. Zimmerberg, is...........
an otaku.
AT: An otaku? is that some BDSM code or something?
RB: Much worse. (how could i explain this.....I tried to use words...) Ms. Teal, ever remember seeing "Japanese animation" shows in the 80s and 90s, stuff like Speed Racer, Akira, Pokemon and stuff like that?
AT: sure the neighbors used to watch that and i'd see some of it through my window...
RB: Imagine being addicted to those eastern shows. BUT ON CRACK! Ms. Teal, the room was covered, not with BDSM ropes and such, but with what is known in Japan as "Dakimikura"
AT: Oh, is that a Japanese condom? seems pretty trivial
RB: Oh no, you wish it was a Japanese condom. The names of Mr. Zimmerberg's other "girlfriends" were spotless. I expected them to be covered in cum, but it's much worse that they weren't.
AT: oh. hmm that explains why he asks me not to shower for a few days after he came into my hair. It's a bit embarrassing...
RB: Ms. lemme get to the point, then elaborate. The sad truth is, YOU are the fuck toy.
AT: But, aren't all those pillows his fuck toys?
RB: no , if only it were true. You see, like most geeks, dweebs, and nerds. Mr. Zuckerberg treats humans as drivel, on account of them not being as smart as he is. It's especially true because his "treasures" were spotless.
AT: NO MR> BAILLEY! IT can't be true!
RB: Ms. Teal, sometimes the truth hurts. Mr. Zimmerberg has 1 fuck toy, and 32 wives.
AT: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
RB: (she left the room and threw the 20 grand onto the table. The only redeeming thought I had was that Anna Teal would have much better appreciation for the healthier fetishes in life, especially BDSM, and maybe an occasional foot fetish friend. Yes, she had found out the inconvenient truth, that the rich, treated PEOPLE AS FUCK DOLLS).
RB: Come in.
Anna Teal: Hi Mr. Bailley. Name your price. I need info on this and i need it fast.
RB: hold your horses maam, there's only a few cases i won't take. What's the bug under your rug?
AT: It's this guy I'm dating. You may have heard of him...he's....well
RB: yes, who is he? (she was more nervous than most of my clients)
AT: Clark Zimmerbirg, the CEO of Farcebook
RB: I see. He unfriended me last year, but I'm not surprised. (heh heh i wondered if i should tell my client about the saucy things i had put on that site to reverse blackmail clients. I decided not to, for now) What do you want me to research miss?
AT: Your aren't intimidated by his riches? you don't think he'll higher some thugs to come after you?
RB: He's a philanthropist right? nah he wouldn't hurt a fly...
AT: ON THE CONTRARY MR> DICK BAILLEY (she steadied herself) I mean, can i call you Reid? He WANTS ME TO DO BDSM! WITH HIM!!!
RB: Just because he's rich and powerful doesn't mean you have to address his every whim and fancy. But just to be sure of this Anna, are you 100% sure it's BDSM? what clue words got you thinking this...
AT: well, to be honest, it's not what he's said, it's what he's pointed to
RB: His dick size?
AT: no, if only that were the case. After sex, he tells me that if i'm a good girl, I'll get to see his "special room"
RB: Hmmm, well i understand the concern. Some movie a friend was telling me about had a similar event.
AT: so MR. Bailley, can you hack into the room?
RB: Well Ms. Teal, it's gonna cost you. $20,00 greenbacks
AT: Deal
RB: (i was a bit off put because i could tell she would have paid me more had i asked for it. But asking alot also means getting alot. What could be the secret Clark Zimmerberg was hiding? 20K was enough to get it)
RB: Alright Ms. Teal, but I'll need your cooperation. Being a silicon valley type, he'll likely have some sort of keycard, likely by his desk drawer. (i handed her a machine i happened to have from a rival of Mr. Zimmerberg who worked at MySpecies.) You don't have to bring me the physical keycard, just scan Mr. Zimmerberg's card with this machine, just like you would a credit card. Put that scanned copy in your purse and bring it to me. that is, unless you want to go into the room...........alone..........
AT: MR BAILLEY! i'll do it but never! never suggest that i have to go into that room! What would my mother think if i was into BDSM?
RB: What would she think.......indeed (kinky thoughts ran through my head until a taxi cab honked outside my door). Anyways, bring me the key.
AT: how will you get into his mansion?
RB: Mr. Zimmerberg has enemies, that have owed me a favor. Let's just say i have...connections.
AT: You mean other people know of his love for BDSM and want to blackmail him for it.
RB: (i tried to suppress a laugh, and managed to just in time. Boy was this dame naieve). Something like that. you get me the card, and i'll finish the rest.
I smoked some tar and went about my work. Why was it that i suspected something far too easy was within my reach?
(the next day)...
AT: I got the card. It happened to be pretty easy to get
RB: (i interrupted her before i forgot my plan) great job dollface. Now, assuming you sleep with him at night.
AT: (she in turn interrupted me) yes i do, but that's the worst. All we do is fuck in missionairy. EVERY FUCKING NIGHT
RB: well miss, if you don't mind me asking, why are you so afraid of kinky sex? don't you think it would be "spicier" than missionary?
AT: well you do make a point Mr. Bailley
RB: Nevermind, just hang in there one more night. From "other sources" I happened to obtain the floorplans and keycards to his mansion. That, and with the one you just gave me, will get me into the "secret room", without leaving a single fingerprint. Do your "missionary work" one more night sweet cheeks and the secret of that room, in full photos, will be revealed. What you do with that information is up to you....
AT: Got it Mr. Dick
(that night)
( I heard Anna and Mr. Zimmerberg going at it pretty hard. Either she had lied to me about not enjoying missionary or she was feeling quite a bit relieved to know the contents of the room the next day. Though the sex was hot and loud, I had a job to do.
I slowly opened the door, ecstatic that both Anna Teal and my curiosity could finally be quenched. I turned on the flashlight and jumped back! I bit my tongue so as to not let out a shout. Why in the world did my flashlight shine on the shiniest pair of Super Sonico eyes i'd ever seen? The lifeless and yet all too-lifelike resemblance to the popular anime figure confirmed my deepest most disturbing belief: IT was true. Mr. Zimmerberg was easily the sickest fucker I had ever seen. in all my years! I left immediately and tried to prepare to tell Anna Teal about the contents of the room.)
(the next day, in Reid Bailley's office)
AT: So did everything go as planned?
RB: sure did miss. I won't spoil it for you by saying: I think you're not going to like what i saw.
AT: OH Mr. Bailley? What was it ? BDSM? severed heads? pieces of flesh? used chewing gum?
RB: If only that were true Mr. Teal. It's much, much much worse.
AT: What could it be.
(I paused, and couldn't believe the words were coming out of my mouth)
RB: Ms. Teal, (i stuttered, but had to finish the job) Mr. Zimmerberg, is...........
an otaku.
AT: An otaku? is that some BDSM code or something?
RB: Much worse. (how could i explain this.....I tried to use words...) Ms. Teal, ever remember seeing "Japanese animation" shows in the 80s and 90s, stuff like Speed Racer, Akira, Pokemon and stuff like that?
AT: sure the neighbors used to watch that and i'd see some of it through my window...
RB: Imagine being addicted to those eastern shows. BUT ON CRACK! Ms. Teal, the room was covered, not with BDSM ropes and such, but with what is known in Japan as "Dakimikura"
AT: Oh, is that a Japanese condom? seems pretty trivial
RB: Oh no, you wish it was a Japanese condom. The names of Mr. Zimmerberg's other "girlfriends" were spotless. I expected them to be covered in cum, but it's much worse that they weren't.
AT: oh. hmm that explains why he asks me not to shower for a few days after he came into my hair. It's a bit embarrassing...
RB: Ms. lemme get to the point, then elaborate. The sad truth is, YOU are the fuck toy.
AT: But, aren't all those pillows his fuck toys?
RB: no , if only it were true. You see, like most geeks, dweebs, and nerds. Mr. Zuckerberg treats humans as drivel, on account of them not being as smart as he is. It's especially true because his "treasures" were spotless.
AT: NO MR> BAILLEY! IT can't be true!
RB: Ms. Teal, sometimes the truth hurts. Mr. Zimmerberg has 1 fuck toy, and 32 wives.
AT: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
RB: (she left the room and threw the 20 grand onto the table. The only redeeming thought I had was that Anna Teal would have much better appreciation for the healthier fetishes in life, especially BDSM, and maybe an occasional foot fetish friend. Yes, she had found out the inconvenient truth, that the rich, treated PEOPLE AS FUCK DOLLS).
Sex is Comedy of the highest art
![[Image: YoG5lWf.jpg]](http://i.imgur.com/YoG5lWf.jpg)